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Worst Sexual Terminology

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SonjaMarie
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Post by SonjaMarie » Sat February 6th, 2010, 7:12 pm

[quote=""Misfit""] :) ;) :p

I seem to recall something really off the wall in their first time *doing it* that had me rolling my eyes. Quote it if you come across it please.[/quote]

Hmm, so far the only odd (?) comment has been "I discovered his royal staff already standing tall as any truncheon."

If there was something else you can recall that I can specifically look for let me know, and if I see anything else eye-rolling I'll post.

SM
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Misfit
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Post by Misfit » Sat February 6th, 2010, 7:29 pm

It seems like it was about 2/3 of the way through and they were off at a private house with others in the country and it was their *wedding night*.
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SonjaMarie
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Post by SonjaMarie » Sat February 6th, 2010, 7:33 pm

[quote=""Misfit""]It seems like it was about 2/3 of the way through and they were off at a private house with others in the country and it was their *wedding night*.[/quote]

Ah, right the mock wedding. She was in a dress that concealed nothing, much to her unhappiness. I didn't see any terms that I thought worth posting here though.

SM
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Misfit
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Post by Misfit » Sat February 6th, 2010, 7:54 pm

[quote=""SonjaMarie""]Ah, right the mock wedding. She was in a dress that concealed nothing, much to her unhappiness. I didn't see any terms that I thought worth posting here though.

SM[/quote]

It's been a while and I've quite forgotten most of the book, I just have this vague notion of something so cheesy and silly that I was rolling my eyes.
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Telynor
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Post by Telynor » Sat February 6th, 2010, 9:30 pm

And then there are the novels of Bertrice Small. Those are so over the top, especially the ones that she tried to write that were fantasy. There you will find every permutation and position and other weirdnesses that can be imagined. Or as I like to think of her books, smut in fancy dress. Fortunately, she's toned it down a little in her more recent books.

Susan Holloway Scott
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That Infamous Scepter of Charles II

Post by Susan Holloway Scott » Tue July 20th, 2010, 5:20 pm

[quote=""SonjaMarie""]I'm reading "The French Mistress" by Susan Holloway Scott and in the scene I just read, Charles II is pressing up against Louise de Keoualle, they haven't had sex yet and she's just on the verge of giving in (not yet sure if she does), but this line made me roll my eyes:
"I felt the length of his eager scepter hard against me, ready for employment as soon as his master chose."

Oye!

SM[/quote]

I've (finally) just joined here, and it seems somehow fitting that my first reply be about that imposing royal "scepter."

It IS a howler, and yes, it does sound like it belongs with all the other tumescent throbbing manhoods in purple romance. But as ridiculous as it reads, it's accurate to the period. There was much public discussion of Charles II's sexual prowess and his, um, endowments. Both his gentlemen attendents and his mistresses commented on it. In addition, he often went swimming in the Thames near Whitehall Palace, and any Londoner who happened by had a pretty good view of their king in all his glory. Charles was a large man for his time (over six feet tall), and apparently in proportion. 'Nuff said.

Though it's hard to imagine today, when world leaders aren't permitted much sexuality at all, Charles's virility was regarded as a reflection of the power of the country as a whole, and was metaphorically tied into all sorts of patriotic symbolism. The most famous scepter reference appears in a poem by John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester: "Nor are his [the King's] high desires above his strength,/His sceptre and his prick are of a length."

Nobody now knows exactly what Louise de Keroualle called that part of the King's person. When writing this scene, I had to consider how hyper-aware she was of Charles being king, and the fact that her reserved, lady-like manner could occasionally border on prudish. Weird as it was, somehow that euphemistic 'scepter' seemed appropriate for her voice; there was no way she'd be as frank as, say, Barbara Villiers or Nell Gwyn.

Seeing it here, though, makes me realize perhaps I should have thought twice about using it. Accurate or not, if any historical expression makes a reader stop reading to roll her/his eyes, than it's not a good choice -- and will land me (deservedly) here in a "Worst Sexual Terminology" thread. *g*

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Michy
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Post by Michy » Tue July 20th, 2010, 5:42 pm

[quote=""Susan Holloway Scott""]There was much public discussion of Charles II's sexual prowess and his, um, endowments. Both his gentlemen attendents and his mistresses commented on it. [/quote]

When I read things like this about a royal person, it always makes me wonder how much of such rumors, comments, etc. were actually grounded in fact, and how much was exaggeration because the subject was the monarch. You know, appealing to his vanity in hopes of finding favor (much as Elizabeth I was vaunted for her beauty and flattered by her courtiers and others). Or, was it perhaps an extension of national pride, since, as Susan says, the monarch was seen as such an integral representation of the nation. i.e., "Our king's a real stud! Nobody else has a king like ours!"

If Charles II had been a mere mortal, would others have thought he was so well-endowed?
Last edited by Michy on Tue July 20th, 2010, 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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SonjaMarie
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Post by SonjaMarie » Tue July 20th, 2010, 6:01 pm

Dear Susan, welcome to the forum! I'm honoured (?, LOL) that the first thing you post is in reply to something I wrote! Hee! :)

I've read all your books and even though 3 were about women I wasn't to thrilled about as human beings, I've enjoyed them (Nell I like). I'm looking forward to your next one.

SM
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Misfit
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Post by Misfit » Tue July 20th, 2010, 6:35 pm

Seeing it here, though, makes me realize perhaps I should have thought twice about using it. Accurate or not, if any historical expression makes a reader stop reading to roll her/his eyes, than it's not a good choice -- and will land me (deservedly) here in a "Worst Sexual Terminology" thread. *g*
Hi Susan and welcome aboard. Boy I'd forgotten all about this thread. Actually if you go and find the Alan Savage thread you're pretty tame ;)

While we're at it and far from qualifying here but too funny not to share,
“She gave the kind of glad shout she was accustomed to keep for the hunting field, and rode madly towards the quarry they both were chasing. Stasio caught her mood and went with her, exultantly matching his pace to her wild career. Accomplished sportsmen, they both came in for the kill at the same moment, dividing it to their equal satisfaction. Afterwards, in a flurry of laughter and kisses, the Grand Duchess fell from her mount.”
And no, they were not hunting venison :D
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boswellbaxter
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Post by boswellbaxter » Tue July 20th, 2010, 6:48 pm

Glad to have you here, Susan, and thanks for being a good sport!
Susan Higginbotham
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