Fiction bad sex awards

boswellbaxter · Post by **boswellbaxter** » Fri November 21st, 2008, 3:13 pm

[quote=""donroc""]"Stiff Competition" indeed. On another site, a thread was created so we could post the worst terminology for genetalia we have read in novels.[/quote]

If you insist.

Margaret · Post by **Margaret** » Fri November 21st, 2008, 6:49 pm

I hadn't read Mailer's Castle in the Forest, and now I definitely won't. Yuck! And "goblin"? Maybe you have to be Russian for that to mean something.

annis · Post by **annis** » Fri November 21st, 2008, 7:34 pm

Eueew-er! I shouldn't have had breakfast before reading that lot

What's with the Plaster Foot Award? Is there some arcane sexual significance? Symbolic of foot in mouth (or in this case, possibly some other orifice)?

I was quite amused the other day when I came across this site, clearly the work of someone with too much time on his hands - he's been through all the Flashman books and collated descriptions of Flashy's various "encounters".
http://www.gebauer.demon.co.uk/Flashy/index.htm

Volgadon · Post by **Volgadon** » Fri November 21st, 2008, 7:47 pm

The Sashenka one doesn't seem too bad, we are talking about an ideological fanatic here.

cw gortner · Post by **cw gortner** » Fri November 21st, 2008, 8:06 pm

"Weeping orifice"?!! That's just wrong.

I loved the guy who wasn't sure where his penis was in relation to where he wanted it to be. How many times have I heard that before?

Alaric · Post by **Alaric** » Sat November 22nd, 2008, 3:48 am

I'd like to read Sashenka, I didn't know Montefiore had started writing fiction as well. His books on Stalin have been a brilliant source for some of my essays on the Cold War.

annis · Post by **annis** » Tue December 9th, 2008, 4:55 am

To return to this one, in case any one is interested, the winner was Rachel Johnson
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/no ... ke-fiction

boswellbaxter · Post by **boswellbaxter** » Tue December 9th, 2008, 5:06 am

Thanks, Annis! There are extracts from Johnson's and some other books here. I loved the bit about slug clearance at the end of her extract.

Margaret · Post by **Margaret** » Tue December 9th, 2008, 6:36 am

Updike was one of my father's favorite authors. I never appreciated him much: the excerpt given in the Guardian article is only a slightly exaggerated example of why.

annis · Post by **annis** » Tue December 9th, 2008, 8:35 am

I still remember that toilet scene between Piet and Foxy in "Couples". Definitely in the bizarre rather than sexy category, but certainly memorable. That wisp of blue toilet paper remains a vivid image after all these years!