Trying to let go of some really bad advice

Helen_Davis · Post by **Helen_Davis** » Tue November 6th, 2012, 2:55 pm

I had an occupational therapist out West here who told me a lot of very unprofessional and discouraging things. She made me feel very defective and inadequate for having a high IQ, following world politics the way most people follow movie stars(not wanting to turn this into a political thread, just wanted to say she really made me feel bad for that) that my intelligence and gifts for acting and writing didn't matter because I'm not 'normal' and that men don't like women who aren't dumb, sweet, and submissive. I stopped seeing her in February. I've written a letter telling me how she made me feel, but I am considering filing an ethics complaint because she pushed religion on me which I felt a breach of professionalism

She was also very sexist. Do I have a right to file a complaint? Also, how can I flush what she told me?

Brenna · Post by **Brenna** » Tue November 6th, 2012, 3:13 pm

That is horrible and I think writing a letter was certainly the right thing to do. As far as filing a complaint, I think it is something to consider but I can't speak to whether or not it will do anything. Therapists are supposed to be neutral at all costs and are there to help you help yourself, not preach. I experienced some trauma as a child so I've seen a therapist on and off for years and some have been good, others not so good. I would recommend that you research and possibly seek out another occupational therapist that will hopefully help you not only with the issues you need addressed but will alleviate some of the harm done by the previous one. Virtual hugs!!

Helen_Davis · Post by **Helen_Davis** » Tue November 6th, 2012, 4:19 pm

[quote=""Brenna""]That is horrible and I think writing a letter was certainly the right thing to do. As far as filing a complaint, I think it is something to consider but I can't speak to whether or not it will do anything. Therapists are supposed to be neutral at all costs and are there to help you help yourself, not preach. I experienced some trauma as a child so I've seen a therapist on and off for years and some have been good, others not so good. I would recommend that you research and possibly seek out another occupational therapist that will hopefully help you not only with the issues you need addressed but will alleviate some of the harm done by the previous one. Virtual hugs!![/quote]

Well, I have a therapist and several good friends who are also mentors to me. She was an occupational therapist and was supposed to help my handwriting. But she also saw fit to act as a counselor.

Vanessa · Post by **Vanessa** » Tue November 6th, 2012, 4:28 pm

Sounds as if the therapist has issues, never mind anyone else! Have you tried seeing someone else and telling them your experiences with this person? They should then reassure you that you are 'normal'. The world is full of all sorts of people so the definition 'normal' is a little difficult to apply! Perhaps she was jealous that you have a high IQ!

Madeleine · Post by **Madeleine** » Tue November 6th, 2012, 5:09 pm

She sounds a bit dodgy to me, especially as you say she's an occupational therapist rather than a counsellor, although she seems to think differently! You might have a case for a complaint, is there a way of finding out (discreetly) if she's treated anyone else in a similar way, and said similar things? She sounds very unethical to me.

Telynor · Post by **Telynor** » Wed November 7th, 2012, 11:10 pm

I would certainly complain! That was thoroughly unprofessional on her part, not to mention downright cruel.

rebecca · Post by **rebecca** » Sun November 11th, 2012, 2:41 am

Hello Helen

.
I am so sorry you went through this painful experience. The sad thing here is I think your 'therapist' is in sore need of some therapy for herself....No-one should make you feel less than who you are and as for 'normal', there is no such thing. We are all different so what may be normal for some may not be so for others.

I don't want to preach but to me the greatest gift I ever gave myself was to free myself from wanting the approval of others or trying to live my life to anothers expectations.

Just be yourself and like who YOU are.

As for taking this matter further that is totally in your hands, but I wish you well and I hope that this 'therapist' will also get the help she needs before she harms anyone else.

Bec

Helen_Davis · Post by **Helen_Davis** » Sun November 11th, 2012, 2:43 pm

She sent me to a Bible study where the wife even said I was sinning by voting and being active in politics.(I kind of have a very small part in the Republican Party here in my town out West-- don't mean to be politicial, it's just what they said really annoyed me.) They both told me I was taking on a man's role

Helen_Davis · Post by **Helen_Davis** » Sun November 11th, 2012, 2:44 pm

[quote=""rebecca""]Hello Helen

.
I am so sorry you went through this painful experience. The sad thing here is I think your 'therapist' is in sore need of some therapy for herself....No-one should make you feel less than who you are and as for 'normal', there is no such thing. We are all different so what may be normal for some may not be so for others.

I don't want to preach but to me the greatest gift I ever gave myself was to free myself from wanting the approval of others or trying to live my life to anothers expectations.

Just be yourself and like who YOU are.

As for taking this matter further that is totally in your hands, but I wish you well and I hope that this 'therapist' will also get the help she needs before she harms anyone else.

Bec

[/quote]
THank you. I think that may be why God/The Fates sent me to her-- to learn that.

Madeleine · Post by **Madeleine** » Sun November 11th, 2012, 5:58 pm

These people sound like they're living in the "Dark Ages" - they're entitled to their opinion but wrong to foist it on anyone else.