The biggest writing fault I come across

Justin Swanton · Post by **Justin Swanton** » Thu February 9th, 2012, 7:41 am

For me it's using adjectives like fireworks: an attempt to artificially heighten up a scene or action when understatement or simple statement would do the job better:

'She suddenly jumped to her feet and desperately cried out in a deafening voice...' compared to: 'She jumped to her feet and cried out...' No contest.

So much potentially good material is ruined by this. I come across it all the time and thought it worth mentioning here - in a constructive spirit.

Anyone else with a pet peeve?

DianeL · Post by **DianeL** » Fri February 10th, 2012, 1:22 am

I'd agree about over-description (but suddenly and desperately are adverbs, a much-maligned part of speech, though not everyone uses them beautifully).

LoveHistory · Post by **LoveHistory** » Fri February 10th, 2012, 3:24 am

I dislike redundancy (such as 'continue on') or when people use a wrong but similar word (like 'less' where it should be 'fewer').

Also misuse of "I" and "me." That one drives me nuts.

Justin Swanton · Post by **Justin Swanton** » Fri February 10th, 2012, 3:36 am

[quote=""DianeL""]I'd agree about over-description (but suddenly and desperately are adverbs, a much-maligned part of speech, though not everyone uses them beautifully).

[/quote]

Oops - that was a clanger.

Margaret · Post by **Margaret** » Sun February 12th, 2012, 7:28 pm

A boring background dump that reads like a history lesson and stops the plot in its tracks. Although I like history lessons, I prefer to read them in the form of nonfiction. In fiction, I'm looking for story, character, and thematic depth - preferably something emotionally moving.

MLE (Emily Cotton) · Post by **MLE (Emily Cotton)** » Sun February 12th, 2012, 8:40 pm

wasting my time on 'fill' scenes. Some writers just have to put in 'what came next' instead of moving to the next important event. It reminds me of a relative who starts a story about a flat tire disaster, and then uses up your time telling you what he had for lunch while he was waiting for the tire shop to open.
Just cut to the relevant parts.

annis · Post by **annis** » Mon February 13th, 2012, 4:19 pm

The "As you know, Bob" syndrome, where one character spends a lot of time telling another character stuff he would already know as a way of providing information to the reader - another form of info dumping. There are more subtle ways of doing this.

Ludmilla · Post by **Ludmilla** » Mon February 13th, 2012, 5:04 pm

[quote=""Margaret""]A boring background dump that reads like a history lesson and stops the plot in its tracks. Although I like history lessons, I prefer to read them in the form of nonfiction. In fiction, I'm looking for story, character, and thematic depth - preferably something emotionally moving.[/quote]

As a reader (not someone who writes for a living) this bugs me, too. I read a sample of something this weekend that suffered from a similar problem. The author was clearly wanting to "teach me" about the period, and I felt the author was neglecting theme in favor of educating me. Of course, I only read a sample, so maybe the author improved as the story went along. It's probably very hard for authors to balance story with informing their readers about necessary background. So often, the info dump doesn't even feel organic to the characters or the story. I hate it when they use dialogue as info dump and have their characters speak in ways they would not have spoken to one another (the "as you know, Bob" Annis refers to). Drives me batty! Of course, I also realize dialogue is hard to do. There are writers who are good at it, but there are also very good writers who struggle with it, I imagine.

Justin Swanton · Post by **Justin Swanton** » Tue February 21st, 2012, 6:06 am

Another irritation I keep coming across: characters who have extreme emotional reactions that are out of character: "Cowed by womanly vehemence, Belisarius gaped in silence" - this from a tough, Roman teenager who regularly gets into scrapes which he invariably wins and which his father approves of, and who has just had a dressing down from his mother and aunt. I tie this to the excessive use of adjectives (and adverbs!) as an attempt to artificially heighten a scene.

Justin Swanton · Post by **Justin Swanton** » Thu March 8th, 2012, 4:16 pm

Another one: characters who speak an English that is out of sync with their social background and milieu. I'm talking about characters who historically did not speak English, like the Romans, Britons - in fact anyone before the 18th century, or anyone from any period who lived outside the British Empire and North America.

This is a difficulty for the historical novelist, as he/she must make up the idiom and accent of his characters, bolting contemporary forms on to past societies. I think it needs to be done with restraint, just enough so the reader gets the flavour of the character's social background, but not too much so he starts sounding like a Westcountryman or (worse) a New Yorker transposed into the past.