The Worst Thing Today

SonjaMarie · Post by **SonjaMarie** » Sat May 30th, 2009, 5:36 am

I've had a sore throat since last Sat, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, hopefully they can tell me what's wrong and it's nothing major. Sigh! It hurts to talk and swallow and even just breathing

SM

Alaric · Post by **Alaric** » Sat May 30th, 2009, 5:42 am

I sympathise! I had the flu a couple of weeks ago myself.

Lauryn · Post by **Lauryn** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 4:43 am

I just got home after a four-hour-long debacle of a property inspection. I offer this up in search of the humour, because I know it's in there somewhere ....

I had a late afternoon appointment with a client who had two properties for me to look at today, so I met him at his home, did 90% of the inspection and measurements there without incident, and was just finishing up the measurements of his (huge) workshop, when my 200-ft fibreglass measuring tape jammed up on me. I managed to finish getting the measurements anyway, and set the reel down to make my sketch of the warehouse. I hear my client mutter under his breath, and I glance up to see why - and he has yanked about 100 ft of measuring tape from the reel in such a way that it is still looped inside the case, and the reel will neither wind forward nor back. 75 feet of tape are free of the case altogether, and as far as I could ascertain when I talked him into letting me see what he had done to <ahem> my measuring tape, the five feet between 75 and 80 were so hopelessly wrapped around the spindle that the fibreglass was starting to tear.

So I gathered up the 100 feet of hopeless tangle, and the 75 feet of nearly functional tangle, and the case, and informed him that I really couldn't afford the time for him to figure it out right now, as I still had his other property to see before going home to my dinner. Would he be so kind as to lead the way to that other property, and we'll just do the best we can with the measuring tape when we get there?

When we get there, it is not one house, but three, and all the tenants are out there, chatting with Joe Property Owner & Defiler of Measuring Tapes, and <sputter> laughing at me for ruining my damn tape! The Defiler actually had the nerve to blame me for the damage! So, chanting calming mantras as best I can while getting tangled in the Tape From Hell, I finished up that property, said my good-byes to the client as calmly and civilly as I could, and left.

It's hot, I was flustered, it was way past dinner time, and I needed to cool down. So, I stopped at a local grocery store for a bottled whatever and a sandwich, got back to my car, and could not find my keys for love or money. Just as I was getting ready to panic, the clerk came out with my keys, so no real harm done, except maybe to my nerves.

Now for the hardware store: The 200-ft measuring reel has a lifetime guarantee on physical damage, but I really wasn't certain it would cover The Defiler. (Mental note, I really mustn't put that name in the report to his lender.) Long story short - the girl at customer service was so horrified at the shape the tape was in, that she made me promise that The Defiler wasn't going to touch the new reel. Which I now have. Thank God.

boswellbaxter · Post by **boswellbaxter** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 4:52 am

[quote=""Lauryn""]I just got home after a four-hour-long debacle of a property inspection. I offer this up in search of the humour, because I know it's in there somewhere ....

I had a late afternoon appointment with a client who had two properties for me to look at today, so I met him at his home, did 90% of the inspection and measurements there without incident, and was just finishing up the measurements of his (huge) workshop, when my 200-ft fibreglass measuring tape jammed up on me. I managed to finish getting the measurements anyway, and set the reel down to make my sketch of the warehouse. I hear my client mutter under his breath, and I glance up to see why - and he has yanked about 100 ft of measuring tape from the reel in such a way that it is still looped inside the case, and the reel will neither wind forward nor back. 75 feet of tape are free of the case altogether, and as far as I could ascertain when I talked him into letting me see what he had done to <ahem> my measuring tape, the five feet between 75 and 80 were so hopelessly wrapped around the spindle that the fibreglass was starting to tear.

So I gathered up the 100 feet of hopeless tangle, and the 75 feet of nearly functional tangle, and the case, and informed him that I really couldn't afford the time for him to figure it out right now, as I still had his other property to see before going home to my dinner. Would he be so kind as to lead the way to that other property, and we'll just do the best we can with the measuring tape when we get there?

When we get there, it is not one house, but three, and all the tenants are out there, chatting with Joe Property Owner & Defiler of Measuring Tapes, and <sputter> laughing at me for ruining my damn tape! The Defiler actually had the nerve to blame me for the damage! So, chanting calming mantras as best I can while getting tangled in the Tape From Hell, I finished up that property, said my good-byes to the client as calmly and civilly as I could, and left.

It's hot, I was flustered, it was way past dinner time, and I needed to cool down. So, I stopped at a local grocery store for a bottled whatever and a sandwich, got back to my car, and could not find my keys for love or money. Just as I was getting ready to panic, the clerk came out with my keys, so no real harm done, except maybe to my nerves.

Now for the hardware store: The 200-ft measuring reel has a lifetime guarantee on physical damage, but I really wasn't certain it would cover The Defiler. (Mental note, I really mustn't put that name in the report to his lender.) Long story short - the girl at customer service was so horrified at the shape the tape was in, that she made me promise that The Defiler wasn't going to touch the new reel. Which I now have. Thank God.[/quote]

Love it! I've defiled some cheap reels of tape like that; fortunately, I've never been near the fancy type!

zsigandr · Post by **zsigandr** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 10:03 am

Lauryn - your way of telling the story is hilarious! You may not see the humour in it right now, but what a story to be able to share.

Hopefully, Karma will work it's magic and the Defiler will experience something unpleasant in the near future.

I too, have destroyed many measuring tapes, but like boswellbaxter, have never owned any fancy ones - which is a good thing.
Andrea

LoveHistory · Post by **LoveHistory** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 2:59 pm

Lauryn, if this was a movie, after leaving the hardware store your car would have refused to start.

MLE (Emily Cotton) · Post by **MLE (Emily Cotton)** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 3:43 pm

I may loan out my books freely, but my tape measures stay in my hot little hands!
Altho once when I was underneath a 1930's house to have a look at the foundation before doing a remodel design, an especially nice one (extends to 10' rigid) dropped into some pit full of God-knows-what as I was wriggling out the claustrophobic access hole.
I decided I'd rather buy a new one than go in after it.

EC2 · Post by **EC2** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 5:12 pm

Too Funny (but commiserations too Lauryn). I hope your dinner was more successful and you were able to chill!

Lauryn · Post by **Lauryn** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 10:49 pm

[quote=""LoveHistory""]Lauryn, if this was a movie, after leaving the hardware store your car would have refused to start.[/quote]

It's just as well it wasn't, but I carry a spare car key just because I used to routinely leave my keys in the car.

May I just say - husbands give the best hugs when you're frazzled. That was better than wine or dinner!

LoveHistory · Post by **LoveHistory** » Tue June 2nd, 2009, 11:37 pm

I've been kind of off most of the day, but I have to say it started when my husband said "We don't need any more books."