The Worst Thing Today

bevgray · Post by **bevgray** » Thu February 23rd, 2012, 12:32 pm

I was 41 when I met my fellah. I'd been engaged once and that didn't work out so I figured I was just destined to be a cheerful old bachelor gal. That was all right. Kept me focussed on writing and I'm of a solitary bent anyway. I preferred to cope alone than accept anyone who wasn't "it". It's difficult, I know, but I know so many women and men who settle for second or third best. Sometimes it works out. Often it doesn't. You can be just as lonely with the wrong person than you can be on your own.

I started a new job, walked around the corner, and wham! There he stood with his hands on his hips just like Peter Pan. Within a week, we were finishing each other's sentences. I will be 59 next month and we're still having a heck of a lot of fun together. Of course, the writing went on hold for a few years while I behaved like a starry-eyed sixteen year old in her first crush but that's okay.

Brenna · Post by **Brenna** » Thu February 23rd, 2012, 1:21 pm

[quote=""Divia""]I will be 36 in a few months. And I am running out of hope.

everyone says hang in there but from my pov I see nothing positive.thats just how I feel. Encouraging words mean nothing to me. I need to see my lot in life change n I don't see how that is going to come about. Idd ppl can't understand that then oh we'll. They aren't living life through my eyes right now.[/quote]

Divia-Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this (people that have more experience than us?). It might help change your POV and know that the hope and positiveness has to come from inside you. No one can bring that to you, they can only enhance what is already in there.

I know it sounds super cliche, but until you accept the fact that you are (in the words of Shania Twain) a fine piece of real estate and someone needs some land; no one else will be able to accept it either. You have to be fulfilled with yourself first, but that is hard and it sucks and usually takes a while.

Perhaps taking this time to discover yourself: what you like (taking pilates classes or learning a new language), what you don't, and just accepting that when you are ready, you will meet that special someone.

Madeleine · Post by **Madeleine** » Thu February 23rd, 2012, 2:13 pm

I agree with Brenna, Divia - you sound as if you could be suffering from depression, not for the obvious reasons ie how your'e feeling after the break-up, but your feelings about life in general, especially where you mention how you want to change your lot but can't see how to do it - perhaps talking to some sort of professional - I don't necessarily mean therapy - but just for some advice to help you try to start getting out of the current rut that you're in.

boswellbaxter · Post by **boswellbaxter** » Thu February 23rd, 2012, 2:23 pm

At the risk of offending you, maybe you're overlooking some great guys because they might have some physical imperfection--nose too big, a little bald spot, a couple of pounds overweight, that sort of thing? (I'm not talking about someone who doesn't bathe or who is covered with open sores, just someone who isn't model perfect.) Obviously there has to be a physical attraction, but sometimes that can build over time as you get to know someone instead of being immediately apparent.

Divia · Post by **Divia** » Sun March 4th, 2012, 4:24 pm

Mid life crisis has begun. spiffy

MLE (Emily Cotton) · Post by **MLE (Emily Cotton)** » Mon March 5th, 2012, 5:59 am

Bipolar son had another psychotic episode today. Drove his (our) van through the new 6' fence and tore off in a fury.
The system for taking care of mentally ill people is a joke. He can't manage all the paperwork by himself, and we can't help him because he's an adult and he has to give permission. Which he does, regularly, but the proces takes six months to complete, and he's cycled twice by then, and when he's on the psychotic side he tears up the paperwork and forbids us to discuss him.

So the Doctor asks why he isn't taking his meds.
Me: he doesn't have any meds.
Shrink: why not?
Me: no prescription. No health care.
Shrink: why not? he's eligible.
Me: Paperwork beyond his capabilities.
Shrink: why don't you help him?
Me: he's 30, and we can only have access to his records when he agrees.
Shrink: well, he'll just have to pull it together and do what it takes.

A sample of our medical care for mentally troubled adults.

fljustice · Post by **fljustice** » Mon March 5th, 2012, 3:55 pm

So sorry to hear that, MLE! It's heartbreaking to have to stand by as a loved one self-destructs and there is nothing you can do to help...especially when the bureaucracy makes it worse. My thoughts are with you.

Nefret · Post by **Nefret** » Mon March 5th, 2012, 4:10 pm

Waiting a long time to be paid back a loan, only to find out they don't even have it anymore.

MLE (Emily Cotton) · Post by **MLE (Emily Cotton)** » Mon March 5th, 2012, 6:59 pm

[quote=""fljustice""]So sorry to hear that, MLE! It's heartbreaking to have to stand by as a loved one self-destructs and there is nothing you can do to help...especially when the bureaucracy makes it worse. My thoughts are with you.[/quote]

Thanks Faith. We are slogging through a year-long (so far) process to get him on SSI, as the dh is coming up to retirement and being the sole support for a self-destructive adult is an expensive proposition. Apparently until he does something to harm somebody, nobody will take notice.

When that kid in Arizona shot up the congresswoman's rally and everyone was looking at his parents, all I could think was "There but for the grace of God go I."

LoveHistory · Post by **LoveHistory** » Tue March 6th, 2012, 6:56 pm

Very sorry to hear about the troubles with your son, MLE. I'll keep your family in my prayers.