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language joke

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Kveto from Prague
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Location: Prague, Bohemia

language joke

Postby Kveto from Prague » Thu September 16th, 2010, 7:21 pm

the chat reminded me of a good joke about languages. (Told in the present tense like most jokes)

So a German, a Frenchman and an Englishman are all sitting around in a pub discussing who has the best language.

"Mein herrs," the German says (you have to add your own accents). "I must tell you dat German is the best language. No language is as precise, as definate as the German language. You can describe everything in exacting detail with the beautiful German language. In fact, when God created the Earth, he was thinking in German!"

The Frenchman disagrees. "Au contraire, mon ami. French is zee greatest language in zee world. No language is as beautiful, as expressive, as French. You can express your emotions perfectly in zee lovely French language. In fact, when God created Adam and Eva, he was thinking in French!"

They turn to the Englishman to get his opinion. The Englishman holds up a spoon.
He says, "Alright, in German, you krauts call this a Loffel. and in French, you frogs call this a Culliere."

"Now in English, we call this a spoon. Cause that's what it is."

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Margaret
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Postby Margaret » Thu September 16th, 2010, 8:31 pm

LOL!

Here's my contribution (not original with me - I read it in a Hungarian guidebook, and am freely adapting):

Two Hungarian policemen were standing at a corner directing traffic, and a woman comes up to them with some type of obviously urgent question, but she's speaking German, and they can't understand her. So she switches to English, but they still can't understand. She tries French. Still no go. Italian. No. Russian. They still can't understand her. Finally, she gives up in exasperation and goes away.

One policeman says to the other, "We really should learn a foreign language."

The other one says, "Why? She knew five, and it didn't do her any good!"
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Michy
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Location: California

Postby Michy » Thu September 16th, 2010, 9:52 pm

"keny from prague" wrote:The Englishman holds up a spoon.
He says, "Alright, in German, you krauts call this a Loffel. and in French, you frogs call this a Culliere."

"Now in English, we call this a spoon. Cause that's what it is."


Are native English speakers really perceived as being this dense? Or arrogant? :eek:

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LoveHistory
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Postby LoveHistory » Fri September 17th, 2010, 12:30 am

Well Michy, I'd say the dense and arrogant ones are. ;)

Good jokes.

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Kveto from Prague
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Location: Prague, Bohemia

Postby Kveto from Prague » Fri September 17th, 2010, 2:28 pm

"Michy" wrote:Are native English speakers really perceived as being this dense? Or arrogant? :eek:


hi Michy. dont overanalyse the joke. he could be dense or arrogant. then again he could be very clever by making fun of how silly an arguement about the best language would be.

I always like to note that the conversation is clearly taking place in English so we see who wins in that respect at least :-)

Margaret, Ive heard that Hungarian joke before but thanks for reminding me. Its a great joke :-)

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Kveto from Prague
Compulsive Reader
Location: Prague, Bohemia

EuroEnglish

Postby Kveto from Prague » Fri September 17th, 2010, 2:35 pm

heres a great one I received in my inbox a few years ago about EU English.


NEW EC REGULATIONS

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per cent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer.

ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

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LoveHistory
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Postby LoveHistory » Fri September 17th, 2010, 11:28 pm

That one goes around in the US as well, Keny. Only the US version is talking about making it easier to understand and spell, rather than Euro English.

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Margaret
Bibliomaniac
Interest in HF: I can't answer this in 100 characters. Sorry.
Favorite HF book: Checkmate, the final novel in the Lymond series
Preferred HF: Literary novels. Late medieval and Renaissance.
Location: Catskill, New York, USA
Contact:

Postby Margaret » Mon September 20th, 2010, 12:56 am

Are native English speakers really perceived as being this dense? Or arrogant?


They have been. During the U.S.-Mexican War in the mid-1800s, some of the U.S. soldiers tried speaking pidgin Mexican to the natives. When none of the Mexicans could understand their horrendously bad pronunciation, they complained that the Mexicans couldn't even speak their own language.
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Kveto from Prague
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Location: Prague, Bohemia

Postby Kveto from Prague » Sat November 6th, 2010, 7:16 pm


Ash
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Location: Arizona, USA

Postby Ash » Sat November 6th, 2010, 10:28 pm

"Michy" wrote:Are native English speakers really perceived as being this dense? Or arrogant? :eek:


We'll, first of all its a joke. Second - why yes, even by native English speakers! :)


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