our own Turkey city list

Telynor · Post by **Telynor** » Sat August 21st, 2010, 2:53 am

Here are my two pet peeves:

The Unspeakable Spud
When a food item that is definitely from the New World makes an appearance in a pre-1500 or so novel.

I'm Not Wearing Underwear! Film at 11
Where the heroine isn't wearing any underthings. Such as drawers, or a corset, or a chemise. Or blithely declares that she's not wearing a corset, despite the fact that the only way to get a dress to fit is to be wearing it. One of the things that I loathed from the Tudors miniseries.

Kveto from Prague · Post by **Kveto from Prague** » Thu October 7th, 2010, 6:20 pm

keeping your blade up the hero is always a great lover. going hand in hand with heroics is the ability to satisfy any woman for hours. you never have the hero as "too brisk" a lover, even if he's spent the last few years doing nothing but sailing the seas.

however, no bad guy can pleasure a woman. even if the bad guy has done nothing but sit in his harem for years indulging women constantly. he is still always crap in bed.

annis · Post by **annis** » Thu October 7th, 2010, 6:40 pm

Interesting (and probably disturbing) how often guys in HF equate their personal equipment with their weapons. I guess a sword makes an very obvious analogy, as does a morning star, but even men from later periods are described as being "pistols" in bed.

Kveto from Prague · Post by **Kveto from Prague** » Thu October 7th, 2010, 6:55 pm

[quote=""annis""]Interesting (and probably disturbing) how often guys in HF equate their personal equipment with their weapons. I guess a sword makes an very obvious analogy, as does a morning star, but even men from later periods are described as being "pistols" in bed.[/quote]

true. but ive never had the image from a morning star. ouch, now ive got an image in my head. thanks, Annis

Kveto from Prague · Post by **Kveto from Prague** » Thu October 7th, 2010, 6:59 pm

i just remembered. Poul Andersen once did a take up on this in one of his short stories. it was a Siegfried type story where the hero saves the girl from a dragon. after he saves her she wants to give him some thank you loving. the hero basically says, sorry lady, i just fought a dragon. i dont want to do anything but sleep now.

annis · Post by **annis** » Thu October 7th, 2010, 7:15 pm

There's a wonderfully cheesy historical romance cover someone posted on this forum somewhere with the heroine fondling a suggestively placed morningstar held by the hero

annis · Post by **annis** » Fri October 8th, 2010, 1:26 am

Found it! Posted by Misfit-- of course---

annis · Post by **annis** » Sat December 4th, 2010, 8:18 pm

Just thought I'd add Sarah C's Rules for Writing Historical Fiction set in Classical Times- - there are some great turkeys in there

http://sarahsbookarama.blogspot.com/201 ... ction.html

LoveHistory · Post by **LoveHistory** » Sun December 5th, 2010, 12:47 am

Thanks, Annis! I'll have to remember those when I write my masterpiece.