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What to do when one is sad

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What to do when one is sad

Post by Ash » Sun July 25th, 2010, 1:57 am

A friend in another forum was looking for a way out of the doldrums. He posted this, and I though it was such an apt description of a feeling we all get:

What do you do when you feel the bite of the bitter frost, when the dark moods overwhelm the bright ones, when there is a bitter smell in the air, whether it is just stagnation or some active virus of poison and decay. When the air does not seem to move, when the earth seems to stand still, when there is no discernible difference you can detect between up and down, left and right, in and out, alive and dead. How do you feel when the Sun is merely hot, the Moon is merely cold and the sweat turns to ice and the music of the spheres turns to white noise. When the universe is a joke untold and you do not know where your next breath is coming from, or you don't know if you even care or have the will to find it. Or have the energy to exercise the will that may or may not exist.

I posted for him a favorite passage from one of my favorite books, The Once and Future King. Arthur asks Merlin what to do when one is sad, and he says

The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn."

So, do you all have other recommendations? What works for you?

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Post by Michy » Sun July 25th, 2010, 2:40 am

A few years ago I went through a very difficult time mentally and emotionally that lasted for a long time -- months and months. One of the few things that gave me some sort of "relief" was to (no surprise) browse bookstores (Barnes & Noble was my favorite). For one thing it got me out of my house and out into civilization, but I also found the rows and rows and aisles and aisles of books soothing. Every book is essentially a "voice" -- an author telling something. Seeing all those "voices" talking about things that had nothing to do with me or my situation would remind me that the world and life is much bigger than just me, and it helped take my mind off myself for a while.

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Post by Vanessa » Sun July 25th, 2010, 10:01 am

Reading works for me. It takes my mind into a different world. It's best to make sure it's a cheerful book, though.

Getting out of the house is definitely a good thing. Exercise is also good - it doesn't have to be anything really energetic, just something you enjoy doing, perhaps dancing. Or even yoga. Or a walk in the countryside.
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Post by MLE (Emily Cotton) » Sun July 25th, 2010, 2:11 pm

I go for a hike and tell God all my troubles. His creation reminds me that whatever I'm going through is rather small in the scheme of things, and his company assures me that I'm important to him.

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Post by fljustice » Sun July 25th, 2010, 3:29 pm

Get out of the house! Writing is such a lonely business. When I worked in an office, there was always something else going on around me, that would take me out of a funk, but working at home can be deadly. I take a walk everyday and volunteer regularly. It used to be at my daughter's school. Now that she's graduated, I help out at animal shelters and community gardens. (Oh, and I like to take courses! :D )
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Post by LoveHistory » Sun July 25th, 2010, 4:53 pm

I sing, or I daydream of happy things, or I pray. Reading or watching a funny film are also good. And sometimes I just find some music with a good driving beat, turn it up, and get lost in it.

My mother has always told me the best way to get out of feeling sad or sorry for yourself is to help someone else.

If all else fails I call my hilarious sister or Dad who can almost always crack me up.

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Post by chuck » Sun July 25th, 2010, 5:41 pm

I try to practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis; really helps me to connect to things that really matter to me.......Anyway it makes me feel I've done something positive.....And some times it's really difficult to make the effort in today's social climate....

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Post by Divia » Mon July 26th, 2010, 1:05 am

It depends. Is this person depressed or just a little blue? There is a difference.

Right now I'm in that dark abyss. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I can't write or read. I'm just here.

Either way I need to leave the house. But if you're always by yourself(which I am) its still maddening.

So really I have no answers. But I understand all too well.
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Post by Ludmilla » Mon July 26th, 2010, 1:28 pm

When I'm feeling chronically depressed I need to feel productive, burn off energy. Getting out of the house and getting some exercise is often very helpful (taking a walk or going for a bike ride, for example).

Sometimes I think I get white collar blues sitting in an office all day staring at my laptop and entrenched in tasks that have no more productive value than spinning your wheels in the mud.

As much as I love reading, it is often a crutch and form of escape from dealing with problems which exacerbates depression for me.

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Post by G. Alvin Simons » Tue July 27th, 2010, 12:16 am

It's a proven fact that exercise releases endorphins in the brain that makes us feel good. Do something . . . walk, run, lift weights, bicycle, tennis, swim, play with your dog, etc. There's something for everyone out there.
If the condition become debilitating, please seek medical help. Take it from one who knows, there is help available. Depression & anxiety can be treated. I had an ex-coworker calling where I worked a few months back wanting to "check in" with various people. I'd read that one of the signs of someone contemplating suicide is that they will call up acquaintances & speak to them shortly before killing themselves. I guess it's like saying goodbye. I immediately became suspicious & managed to get the individual on the phone. He confessed to me of having such thoughts. I talked & talked, used myself as an example, & managed to convince him to seek medical help. Thank goodness he listened to me & is now under treatment. His exact words before & now, "It's like night & day. Thank you."
I hope this helps.

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