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Good jokes and other funny stuff

chuck
Bibliophile
Location: Ciinaminson NJ

Remember New Age Music of the 80-early 90's?

Postby chuck » Wed March 4th, 2009, 4:40 pm

:eek:
"Leyland" wrote:Now Zamfir and his pan flute .... he was da bomb!


I also dislike New age music....especially Yanni....Zamfir.... His K-Tel greatest hits what a hoot....

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Spitfire
Reader
Location: Canada

Porn for women?

Postby Spitfire » Mon April 13th, 2009, 11:13 pm

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Only the pure of heart can make good soup. - Beethoven

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Spitfire
Reader
Location: Canada

More porn ;)

Postby Spitfire » Mon April 13th, 2009, 11:18 pm

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Only the pure of heart can make good soup. - Beethoven

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SonjaMarie
Bibliomaniac
Location: Vashon, WA
Contact:

Postby SonjaMarie » Mon April 13th, 2009, 11:29 pm

*SNORT!* Now you're talking! WHOO HOO!

SM
The Lady Jane Grey Internet Museum
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Original Join Date: Mar 2006
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Leyland
Bibliophile
Location: Travelers Rest SC

UPS Airlines

Postby Leyland » Tue April 14th, 2009, 5:07 pm

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this air craft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Can not reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what frict ion locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P : Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams ~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy, Ode

Ash
Bibliomaniac
Location: Arizona, USA

Postby Ash » Tue April 14th, 2009, 7:25 pm

Hee, I saw that a while back, loved it. My DH was a maintenance supervisor so he could relate to it very well. I even gave a copy to our gruff custodian at school and actually got a smile from him (he's actually very nice, just not very social)

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MLE (Emily Cotton)
Bibliomaniac
Interest in HF: started in childhood with the classics, which, IMHO are HF even if they were contemporary when written.
Favorite HF book: Prince of Foxes, by Samuel Shellabarger
Preferred HF: Currently prefer 1600 and earlier, but I'll read anything that keeps me turning the page.
Location: California Bay Area

Postby MLE (Emily Cotton) » Wed April 15th, 2009, 12:57 am

My husband was president of a small nonprofit flying co-op for years, and that one has caused many a laugh. But the original was Quantas airlines, not UPS, and in fact it is Quantas that has never had a serious accident. (Although they might have had one lately -- the memory is jiggling at some news item a year or so back where I was thinking, "Oh, no, there goes a perfect record...")

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Spitfire
Reader
Location: Canada

Equine Romance

Postby Spitfire » Mon April 20th, 2009, 1:02 am

For those who like a little chick-lit...

horsey.jpg
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Only the pure of heart can make good soup. - Beethoven

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Spitfire
Reader
Location: Canada

Men as romance writers

Postby Spitfire » Mon April 20th, 2009, 1:05 am

If men decided to write romance novels....hmmm?


men-as-romance-writers.jpg


Hope you can see this ok?
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Only the pure of heart can make good soup. - Beethoven

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diamondlil
Bibliomaniac

Postby diamondlil » Mon April 20th, 2009, 8:56 am

Very funny!
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