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Sexual Violence

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Helen_Davis

Post by Helen_Davis » Fri April 12th, 2013, 4:10 pm

Thanks for the link MLE.

This part of the article says it all.

Rape culture isn’t an amorphous force that lives outside of people. It takes form and perpetuates itself through our actions. We promote rape culture through the smallest gestures–laughter at a rape joke, objectifying “compliments,” our hesitation to call out a friend, our willingness to make excuses for the known rapists in our midst, our paralysis in the face of complex systemic cruelty, our silence–and these seemingly inconsequential moments build a world where 15-year-olds are gang-raped by classmates. We build a world where it is no longer shocking when victims of sexual assault and harassment commit suicide.

499BC
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Post by 499BC » Mon November 4th, 2013, 3:59 pm

[quote=""MLE""]
The global reality, which surely was no different in times past, is that 70-80% of children/youth are not allowed to reach sexual maturity without their sexual development interfered with (molested / raped / exploited emotionally/verbally/visually to the point of serious damage) enough that it creates major problems in adult sexual adjustment.
[/quote]

I just can't believe these figures - surely it undermines what you are trying to say? Unless you mean 70-80% of children who are 'trafficked'?

499BC
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Post by 499BC » Mon November 4th, 2013, 4:07 pm

[quote=""Helen_Davis""]Thanks for the link MLE.

This part of the article says it all.

Rape culture isn’t an amorphous force that lives outside of people. It takes form and perpetuates itself through our actions. We promote rape culture through the smallest gestures–laughter at a rape joke, objectifying “compliments,” our hesitation to call out a friend, our willingness to make excuses for the known rapists in our midst, our paralysis in the face of complex systemic cruelty, our silence–and these seemingly inconsequential moments build a world where 15-year-olds are gang-raped by classmates. We build a world where it is no longer shocking when victims of sexual assault and harassment commit suicide.[/quote]

I think we are all battered each day by messages in the newspaper, magazines, tv, radio, internet that tell us all to be selfish, take what we are entitled to, have our every want fulfilled. That's all very well but there are other people in the world besides 'me' and the world isn't here just to satisfy our selfish needs.
Rape happens because of people's lack of empathy for their victim - we need lots more education about seeing things from the others point of view and trying to imagine how it might feel to be a victim of something terrible like rape.

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MLE (Emily Cotton)
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Interest in HF: started in childhood with the classics, which, IMHO are HF even if they were contemporary when written.
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Preferred HF: Currently prefer 1600 and earlier, but I'll read anything that keeps me turning the page.
Location: California Bay Area

Post by MLE (Emily Cotton) » Mon November 4th, 2013, 4:52 pm

[quote=""499BC""]I just can't believe these figures - surely it undermines what you are trying to say? Unless you mean 70-80% of children who are 'trafficked'?[/quote]
If these figures seem extreme to you, then you need to make some friends who grew up in the third world-- or should I say, the two-thirds world.
The reason people are trafficked is because the situations at home are so dire.
And even in the developed world, it might be an eye-opener to put in some time at a women's shelter. Although if you are male, there are very slight odds that you will ever be told the personal stories of these women's childhood. Especially not the ones with any sexual overtones.
And we don't need to confine it to women's shelters. In 50 years of listening to people's stories, I find that the upper-middle class woman in the developed world fares somewhat better, but not so securely as ignorance would hope. In my experience, I'd put it at 25% actual rape, and another 30% other kinds of sexual molestation. But these are mostly the stories of women and children, and men don't talk about those kinds of things with each other.

So you'll have to rely on sources like me -- 20 years working with homeless and foster care, five years lay marriage counseling (with my husband) for a wealthy clan of Pakistanis, and a network of friends and acquaintances worldwide who go into poor villages to try and combat trafficking BEFORE it happens with education and economic opportunities.

And the preponderance of evidence is that in our century human rights worldwide (including unwanted sexual contact of all kinds) are BETTER than previous ones. WAY better than classical times.
Last edited by MLE (Emily Cotton) on Mon November 4th, 2013, 4:59 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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