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Good jokes and other funny stuff

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Leyland
Bibliophile
Location: Travelers Rest SC

Good jokes and other funny stuff

Postby Leyland » Thu August 28th, 2008, 4:05 pm

TOP NINE 'CAN I TAKE THAT BACK' OLYMPIC QUOTES (includes some mild vulgarity in context):

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
Last edited by Leyland on Thu August 28th, 2008, 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Not Top Ten as originally posted - just nine! Too many years of David Letterman I fear!

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SonjaMarie
Bibliomaniac
Location: Vashon, WA
Contact:

Postby SonjaMarie » Thu August 28th, 2008, 4:38 pm

ROTFLMAO! Those are great!

SM
The Lady Jane Grey Internet Museum
My Booksfree Queue

Original Join Date: Mar 2006
Previous Amount of Posts: 2,517
Books Read In 2014: 109 - June: 17 (May: 17)
Full List Here: http://www.historicalfictiononline.com/forums/showthread.php?p=114965

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Rowan
Bibliophile
Interest in HF: I love history, but it's boring in school. Historical fiction brings it alive for me.
Preferred HF: Iron-Age Britain, Roman Britain, Medieval Britain
Location: New Orleans
Contact:

Postby Rowan » Sat August 30th, 2008, 3:47 am

I'm speachless...

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Melisende
Reader
Location: Australia

Postby Melisende » Sat August 30th, 2008, 8:07 am

Forget the name of the reporter - but a male was reporting on the women's beach volleyball on morning radio. Female talk-back host commented on the teeny tiny bikinis the women were wearing.

Said male reporter: "the Brazilian is dominant".

Then realised just what he had implied!

I think he was referring to the women's team ...... but cannot be sure .. :o
"For my part, I adhere to the maxim of antiquity: The throne is a glorious sepulchre."

Women of History

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donroc
Compulsive Reader
Location: Winter Haven, Florida
Contact:

Love These Guys

Postby donroc » Tue September 2nd, 2008, 6:53 pm

For those who love JIB JAB. Great political humor.

http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm
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Bodo the Apostate, a novel set during the reign of Louis the Pious and end of the Carolingian Empire.

http://www.donaldmichaelplatt.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXZthhY6OtI&feature=channel_page

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Spitfire
Reader
Location: Canada

The path to inner peace

Postby Spitfire » Wed September 3rd, 2008, 9:09 pm

lol, this is so funny, this sounds like me sometimes. kidding!!
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I
heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.

A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things
I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this
morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonnay,
a bodle of zambuca, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies
tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke... an a box a chocolets.

Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in
ned ov inr pece.
Only the pure of heart can make good soup. - Beethoven

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SonjaMarie
Bibliomaniac
Location: Vashon, WA
Contact:

Postby SonjaMarie » Fri September 5th, 2008, 1:21 am

OK I came up with this myself this afternoon, and I did search online to see if anyone else has used this before but only relation to reading stuff about the real thing.....

NOW INTRODUCING.....

Wii READ!.....

The new great system for those of you who rather forgo the games and read a good book!

Comes with:

A good book of your choosing.

Price: Depends on the cost of the book.

No messy hookups, just open and read!

----
Ok stupid, not stupid?

SM
The Lady Jane Grey Internet Museum
My Booksfree Queue

Original Join Date: Mar 2006
Previous Amount of Posts: 2,517
Books Read In 2014: 109 - June: 17 (May: 17)
Full List Here: http://www.historicalfictiononline.com/forums/showthread.php?p=114965

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donroc
Compulsive Reader
Location: Winter Haven, Florida
Contact:

Postby donroc » Fri September 5th, 2008, 11:24 am

I am reminded of Professor Irwin Corey's "historical" one liner: "Jeanne d'Arc means there is no light in the men's room."
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Bodo the Apostate, a novel set during the reign of Louis the Pious and end of the Carolingian Empire.



http://www.donaldmichaelplatt.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXZthhY6OtI&feature=channel_page

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diamondlil
Bibliomaniac

Optical illusion

Postby diamondlil » Mon September 8th, 2008, 9:38 am

Image


To see this in action you have to start with your nose right up to the screen, then step as far back as you can. One way your should see Marilyn Monroe, the other Albert Einstein.

Now look around. Is anyone watching you?
My Blog - Reading Adventures

All things Historical Fiction - Historical Tapestry


There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Edith Wharton

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diamondlil
Bibliomaniac

Postby diamondlil » Thu September 11th, 2008, 4:51 am

Strangely addictive!


Click the ball to make it change colours!


http://mazzanet.id.au/ball.php
My Blog - Reading Adventures



All things Historical Fiction - Historical Tapestry





There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.



Edith Wharton


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