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Worst Sexual Terminology

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boswellbaxter
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Worst Sexual Terminology

Post by boswellbaxter » Fri November 21st, 2008, 3:15 pm

You can thank donroc for this thread. What's the worst euphemism for a sexual organ (or otherwise really bad description of one) you've seen in a novel?

One of my favorites is "honeyed sheath." I always picture bees buzzing around the place in question.
Susan Higginbotham
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donroc
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Post by donroc » Fri November 21st, 2008, 3:19 pm

Gee, thanks for the credit.

His throbbing **** beat a tatoo against his chest. :eek:
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Bodo the Apostate, a novel set during the reign of Louis the Pious and end of the Carolingian Empire.

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boswellbaxter
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Post by boswellbaxter » Fri November 21st, 2008, 3:24 pm

I've never read the novel, but this line from Ludmilla's Broken English, by Booker-prize winner DBC Pierre, ranks high among my favorites. The heroine is described as having "nipples like tiny dog-snouts quivering up."
Susan Higginbotham
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Misfit
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Post by Misfit » Fri November 21st, 2008, 3:27 pm

:D :D :D

You might have to give this one a sticky so that we remember to add to it as the next baddie comes along. I came across "nether lips" in a Gellis novel I read recently. Although I doubt that will come close to winning any bad prize :p :p

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diamondlil
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Post by diamondlil » Fri November 21st, 2008, 8:24 pm

You just have to read a pretty average romance novel to see some very odd descriptions! I'll keep an eye out!

I remember Virginia Henley had some very interesting ones, but I can't think of them at this time of the morning when I am still half asleep!
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Rowan
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Post by Rowan » Fri November 21st, 2008, 9:40 pm

I'm getting pretty strange looks for the laughter this thread.

I haven't read a romance in ages.

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Leyland
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Post by Leyland » Sat November 22nd, 2008, 12:53 am

The 'throbbing member' description always makes me laugh! Or any kind of 'member'. What, like it belongs to an exclusive club? :D

The next time I see one of those Members Only jackets on a guy, I'll probably convulse in helpless laughter. Yes - they still make them! http://www.overstock.com/Bulk-Clothing- ... oduct.html
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boswellbaxter
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Post by boswellbaxter » Sat November 22nd, 2008, 1:15 am

[quote=""Leyland""]The 'throbbing member' description always makes me laugh! Or any kind of 'member'. What, like it belongs to an exclusive club? :D

The next time I see one of those Members Only jackets on a guy, I'll probably convulse in helpless laughter. Yes - they still make them! http://www.overstock.com/Bulk-Clothing- ... oduct.html[/quote]

Well, with just one member, it is sort of an exclusive club . . . (Reminds me of those "army of one" ads that were running a few years back.)

And now I too am looking at those Members Only jackets in a brand new way.
Susan Higginbotham
Coming in October: The Woodvilles


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annis
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Post by annis » Sat November 22nd, 2008, 8:04 pm

Just have add this one to the list - I encountered it yesterday when indulging in some historical romance - "hot love stick" (groan :) )

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nona
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Post by nona » Thu November 27th, 2008, 5:57 pm

I always thought it was funny when an author would call it "throbbing manhood", "member", "shaft" when I think of those I'm not thinking of a sexual hunk but "my gosh a shaft, that'll suck for her" lol.

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