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Crazy Question

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michellemoran
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Crazy Question

Post by michellemoran » Tue May 12th, 2009, 4:45 am

So I just joined Facebook and someone sent me a friend request. I accidentally clicked yes, or add, or whatever it is you do to add someone, but it was a big mistake! This is someone whose policies/marketing/reviewer-treatment I don't agree with. But if I remove them as a friend, does the person receive a message saying they've just been removed? That would be terribly rude.

Does anyone have experience with this?!

[ edited to say: obviously, it's no one on here!]
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boswellbaxter
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Post by boswellbaxter » Tue May 12th, 2009, 4:50 am

[quote=""michellemoran""]So I just joined Facebook and someone sent me a friend request. I accidentally clicked yes, or add, or whatever it is you do to add someone, but it was a big mistake! This is someone whose policies/marketing/reviewer-treatment I don't agree with. But if I remove them as a friend, does the person receive a message saying they've just been removed? That would be terribly rude.

Does anyone have experience with this?!

[ edited to say: obviously, it's no one on here!][/quote]

I'm pretty sure the person being removed doesn't receive a message. My daughter has removed me a couple of times (how sharper than a serpent's tooth!), and the only way I found out was that she didn't show up on my friends anymore.
Susan Higginbotham
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Carine
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Post by Carine » Tue May 12th, 2009, 5:54 am

Hey, welcome to Facebook Michelle ! :) I'm on Facebook too.

I don't think that the person you remove gets a message of that, the only thing will be that the person will see you're not among his list of friends anymore.

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michellemoran
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Post by michellemoran » Tue May 12th, 2009, 2:22 pm

AH! Thank you Boswell and Carine!!!!!

That's good news!
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Chatterbox
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Post by Chatterbox » Tue May 12th, 2009, 7:17 pm

The only way they will ever know is if they look at the number of their friends, notice it has dipped by one, and try to figure out who that is! Trust me, that's very, very difficult to do, oddly enough. (I keep getting 'friended' and adding people selectively, but have been stuck at 197 to 199 people for months, which I find v. funny.)

I know some people have closed their FB accounts completely and moved off; you can, if you don't want to have to confront this with your friend, make it look as if you had done this, using your privacy settings. You just have to block them and then your name won't pop up in any search. It's a bit draconian; I'd suggest it only if you don't feel that you can explain your reasons for removing them in an e-mail (i.e., "I've decided to limit my FB friends list to only my closest personal friends, for the present").

The only risk is that if you have lots of friends in common, your name may start popping up in the 'people you may know' column on the right of the main FB menu. (This is if you don't block them.) That tends to be made up of friends of friends, people that have worked where you did or went to school where you did, and that FB thinks you might know because of that. Only people who are not otherwise your friends pop up there, so it's kind of a red-flag that someone has unfriended you.

I think there was an article in the NY Times or somewhere about this -- maybe Slate? -- how awkward it was to end up with too many friends. I tend to address the complexity by using my privacy settings. Work contacts don't get access to the full FB account, just select stuff. That way I can gripe away without some venture capitalist assuming that I'm nuttier than the proverbial fruitcake.

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donroc
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Post by donroc » Tue May 12th, 2009, 11:03 pm

facebook is great. Many of my former students have linked with me and purchased my novels.
Image

Bodo the Apostate, a novel set during the reign of Louis the Pious and end of the Carolingian Empire.

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Volgadon
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Post by Volgadon » Fri May 15th, 2009, 11:44 am

Michelle, they won't be told.

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Leyland
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Post by Leyland » Fri May 15th, 2009, 12:30 pm

Hmmm ... if you get rid of a friend on Facebook, would that then be Faceoff? ;)

Also, good to know this info. As some of you fellow HFO's know, I just started using the account I created last year and know very little about the site.
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