Antidepressants and the craft.

[Barbara Passaris]

For anyone who is brave enough to answer this in a public thread and forum, I thank you. If you don't want to go public, please pop me a personal message. I'd love to have some advice on this one.

Is anyone out there able to "work" at writing when they are on antidepressant medications?

I don't want to go into it, but I am toying with the idea of medications, but I am so afraid of "killing" my creativity. Any suggestions or input would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

Barb Passaris

[Volgadon]

Never had medication for it, but when I get depressed I don't want to do anything, period.

[donroc]

One thing I learned about anti-depressants (tho' I do not take them) when I was a with for a physician who wanted to write a book on sexual dysfunction: If you must take them, find a medication that does not destory your libido. We did not cover writing.

[Grasshopper]

Interesting topic. Although I'm not a writer, I am a pharmacist and have occasionally had to take AD's.

My thought is that if an anti-depressant is being taken and is working (patient approaching normality with mood, socializing, etc.), then I would think that it would free the patient/writer to do his/her work. Depression is a wet blanket, causing the patient to not want to do work, hobbies, or pleasure. I don't believe it to be "cheating" but if given correctly, AD's can be a miracle drug. If it is not working, all you are gonna get is side effects. Interesting thought about taking an AD to research sexual dysfunction....whoa...

If the patient has some level of thought scattering and is taking non-AD meds for that...that would be a different story. Suppression of dopamine receptor (meds for psychosis or true bipolar mania) would suppress thoughts and therefore keep a writer from the flow of ideas.

Just my opinion...

[Barbara Passaris]

Okay, thanks...I'm talking about situational depression. Thanks for the info and the insight. It's much appreciated.

Barb Passaris

[Divia]

When I'm in one of my "moods" as I call them then no I dont want to do anything. I lay about the house pondering things. Though my "dark days" have given me great insight into the world and has given me a lot of fuel.

Its a double edged sword in my opinion. I have never taken anything for them because I can still function

[MLE]

Re the question on antidepressants and libido, I am reminded of an article I read recently. It seems that the class of drugs known as 'serotonin re-uptake inhibitors' (prozac, zoloft and the like) suppress the body's ability to manufacture vasopressin and oxytocin, both known for helping in mate bonding and parent-child bonding. Sometimes they are called the 'romance hormones'.
What that has to do with writing is questionable. Maybe the romantic elements of your plot would be more wooden. Anyway, if you try it and find out one way or the other, let us know!
I can't help but think of the number of great writers who suffered from depression. Hemmingway, Poe, Faulkner, and Sylvia Plath come to mind. If Camus wasn't depressed, he sure depressed me!

[Divia]

If Camus wasn't depressed, he sure depressed me!


:D

Yeah, I dunno what it is with depression and the arts. If someone would tell me I'd love to know. Even a lot of the great artists were depressed all the time. Whats up with that?

[Barbara Passaris]

When I'm in one of my "moods" as I call them then no I dont want to do anything. I lay about the house pondering things. Though my "dark days" have given me great insight into the world and has given me a lot of fuel.

Its a double edged sword in my opinion. I have never taken anything for them because I can still function

I'm still functioning...I mean that I can go to my job (very difficult teaching post--nevermind....In this economy, no job should be sneezed at.) BUt writing is difficult. It's hard for me to focus and be creative. I have lots going on in my head, but sitting down to actually write? Well, for some reason there's almost a fear about it. I have a really promising piece that I'm almost finished with. But sitting down to it is not always easy. Part of the reason for that is that some of it is very personal for me. You know that writers put so much of themselves into their work. I've been pondering so much lately, and there are so many things going on with us in our family, mostly having to do with extended family and aging parents.

Anyway, I was just wondering about the meds....As far as the sexual dysfunction thing--don't want to go there!!! Enough said about that part of the topic for me....:p Though I do think that the scientific end of it is very interesting. The brain and how it works always fascinates me. ( I guess the other end does, too, to be honest. Okay, I'll behave myself!!!!)

~Barb

[Volgadon]

Re the question on antidepressants and libido, I am reminded of an article I read recently. It seems that the class of drugs known as 'serotonin re-uptake inhibitors' (prozac, zoloft and the like) suppress the body's ability to manufacture vasopressin and oxytocin, both known for helping in mate bonding and parent-child bonding. Sometimes they are called the 'romance hormones'.
What that has to do with writing is questionable. Maybe the romantic elements of your plot would be more wooden. Anyway, if you try it and find out one way or the other, let us know!
I can't help but think of the number of great writers who suffered from depression. Hemmingway, Poe, Faulkner, and Sylvia Plath come to mind. If Camus wasn't depressed, he sure depressed me!

Or maybe the romantic elements will be better, because they are less based in reality, if I'm making any sense.

[amyb]

I'm not a writer, but I think I may be able to help somewhat. I am currently on AD and have been on them for years. I think that being on medication is helpful in that it helps you focus on things other than your inner pain. When I went off recently I was so bummed and didn't want to do anything. I don't think I updated my blog once in a month because I just didn't care and didn't have the energy. Maybe you could try something not so strong and with a low dose to start out with to make sure how you and your body will react to it. Wellbutrin and Zoloft are ones to check out. A friend of mine was on Zoloft for her situational and it worked really well for her. Good luck and please write me if you have any other questions. I've dealt with depression for longer than I care to remember and have tried many medications - I am always here to talk!

[Barbara Passaris]

Thanks so much, MLE. I've really been struggling. I've dealt with depression on and off, too. But there are times when it's all I can do to force a smile at work...Well, I'll be all right, I guess.

There are some other things going on, too, and I'm wondering if it's the depression working on me, or some real things happening. That's the problem with the illness: it can distort reality for you....

[Hoopking]

My thought is that an artist (which a writer is) like many of the great composers and painters, used their moods to make their greatest masterpeices. Some times when I am depressed and start writing my emotions are hightened and the words flow onto the paper. With being a single parent you can imagine how depressed I can get at times.:D

[Andromeda_Organa]

DON'T TAKE GEODON! I took it and I COMPLETELY lost my ability to write for MONTHS! I was only able to write a sentence, if I was lucky.

[LoveHistory]

I realize I'm rather late to this discussion. But I have to say that when I first got a post-partum depression diagnosis, I had been writing for the first time in my life (after years of desparately wanting to write and getting nothing). I was worried that my newfound abilities would disappear. But they didn't.

I understand the fear thing too. I have a sister who writes (she's better at it than I am) who said she spent a year doing everything she could think of to avoid writing because of that. Sometimes you just get stuck.

I've hardly written for months, and I can't seem to get more than just a few paragraphs at a time. Hopefully this is temporary. I miss writing.

It's also possible that different ADs have different effects on creativity. The one I did best with overall I won't take again, because I was so sick getting off of it. Not sure what I was taking during my most prolific periods of writing.

[Telynor]

As someone who has been on antidepressants along with a host of other medications, with a severe diagnosis, I really have to say that each person is going to be very different when it comes to their medications -- what works for one person won't work for another, and sometimes it does take a while to have them adjusted properly. By all means talk to your prescriber about the creativity issue -- it's important for them to know.

From what I have learned, the one way that antidepressants really work is when they are used with talk therapy. The drugs provide a bridge to recovery, but if the underlaying psychological issues aren't addressed, then the problem isn't fixed. Period.

Comparing the relative drop in my own creativity vs. being on medication or not -- I'll take the medication every time. In the long haul it helps to keep the self-destructive urges down to a managable level without hospitalization. Yeah, it stinks having to take them, but the alternative is worse.

[Ash]

I totally agree with Telnor, esp this

From what I have learned, the one way that antidepressants really work is when they are used with talk therapy. The drugs provide a bridge to recovery, but if the underlaying psychological issues aren't addressed, then the problem isn't fixed. Period

I'd also say the opposite; I was in therapy for years. It wasn't until I finally agreed to try meds that I made big gains (as opposed to the small ones I'd been making). I am in such a better state of being, and would in no way want to go back. I am not a writer but I am a teacher, and when I think of how creative I was before versus now, there's no difference except that I am more focused.

Also, what was said above about drugs being very individual applies to therapy as well. I went through a few before I found someone who clicked with me.

[Telynor]

I totally agree with Telnor, esp this

From what I have learned, the one way that antidepressants really work is when they are used with talk therapy. The drugs provide a bridge to recovery, but if the underlaying psychological issues aren't addressed, then the problem isn't fixed. Period

I'd also say the opposite; I was in therapy for years. It wasn't until I finally agreed to try meds that I made big gains (as opposed to the small ones I'd been making). I am in such a better state of being, and would in no way want to go back. I am not a writer but I am a teacher, and when I think of how creative I was before versus now, there's no difference except that I am more focused.

Also, what was said above about drugs being very individual applies to therapy as well. I went through a few before I found someone who clicked with me.

Absolutely! Great strides are being made in psychiatry these days as they understand more about how trauma and the brain interact with each other. It took me about three therapists before I found one that I would and could trust enough to talk about some very damaging issues. That and the medication -- which took the psychiatrist about two years to fine tune to my situation -- are what did the trick. I still have a one-on-one session with my therapist once a week, see the psychiatrist once a month, and my general provider about every six weeks or so. Complicated? Hell yes, but I look at myself before treatment, and know that I don't want to go back there.

Forgive me, this is one of my hot topics, and one that I feel that if you find yourself getting severely depressed, or in trouble of self-harm, get yourself into treatment. There's too much to life to keep suffering.

[Ash]

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't waited to start meds. My dad was one of those 'we take care of ourselves' people, and even tho I had symptoms of depression at 16, it wasn't till I was 25 or so that I got the courage to see someone, and then it was another twenty years before I decided it was ok to take meds. So yeah - if you are hurting, get help, don't wait.

[michellemoran]

I saw this on Murderati today (http://murderati.typepad.com/murderati/2009/02/crazy-part-deux.html) and thought of this thread. Great post about the pros and cons of talking anti-depressant medication for people with low serotonin levels.

[enelya]

Wow, it is not everyday you see an honest discussion about deprssions and ADs on a forum. I am on paroxetin once again, and without them I can't function, I just can't get out of bed. On them it's a little better. I function wel socially, but I can't get any serious work done, my brain is to busy.
I still write my blogs, my column and I do some journaling, but major work for university is impossible.
Its dreadfull not to be safe in your own head, I don't like taking the meds, esp since I want to have kids, but the alternative is so much worse. Now I just have to motivate myself to go out there and find myself a god therapist

[stu1883]

Wow, it is not everyday you see an honest discussion about deprssions and ADs on a forum. I am on paroxetin once again, and without them I can't function, I just can't get out of bed. On them it's a little better. I function wel socially, but I can't get any serious work done, my brain is to busy.
I still write my blogs, my column and I do some journaling, but major work for university is impossible.
Its dreadfull not to be safe in your own head, I don't like taking the meds, esp since I want to have kids, but the alternative is so much worse. Now I just have to motivate myself to go out there and find myself a god therapist

Wow Enelya, I hope you get better soon.

I suffer with Fibromyalgia and take a lot of medication, including ADs. I must that it can seem to affect my creative juices but I try and put this down to reluctance to start a passage. I think they can affect people differently, it depends on condition/medication/dosage etc.

As for any sexual dysfunction - my wife says she can't tell the difference from before I started on my ADs to now!!!! :eek:

[Chatterbox]

I've been on Prozac twice, once in the late 90s and then again post 9/11 and probably should be taking something to cope right now (but that means going out and finding a doc when I don't have health insurance and all that palaver.)
I was writing -- not creative writing in the fictional sense, but still journalism that required creative thought -- throughout. And I would not have been able to function without the meds.
That said... I do know that having a dark 'edge' sometimes helps me. When I worry more about making a sentence work properly, I am more painstaking. On the meds, I would worry less about everything being as good -- and people noticed the difference. Also, I did feel that I had less interest in exploring deeper themes in my extra-curricular writing. The mechanics were one thing, but the emotions? Everything seemed brighter but flatter. That may, of course, just have been the meds/dosage.
Bottom line: what matters more than anything else is your ability to function in your life. Van Gogh was a marvelous artist, but he hacked off his own ear and died insane. Is that a tradeoff you really want to make? 'Tortured genius' may sound like a fascinating job description, but it's hell on you and everyone else. Look into the medications, work with a doctor to get to the right place with the med & dosage, and take it from there. If you find it does impede your creativity, then taper off and see if that helps. I would say that based on my experience, the effect is not major. It's certainly not akin to taking Valium or alcohol or any other system depressants.
I've battled depression most of my life, I think, and also come from a family where that was seen as a sign of being self-indulgent or just 'nuts'. So you didn't talk about it. Oddly, abt 5 years ago I was visiting my father and had one of my most vicious migraines ever, which is saying something. My vision was completely shot, the right side of my face almost paralyzed, and the pain was surreal. Even knowing what was going on, my father called my sis in law (who is a psychiatrist working with eating disorder patients) behind my back and told her he thought I was insane and was thinking of having me committed.... She read him the riot act; I heard about this from everyone except him (!) and still find it hard to forgive him for that.
But meds -- if you need them and they work and they help and the side-effects (physical/emotional), take them. I know there are people who don't like taking aspirin, even, but if you are not well and not functioning the way you know you can, and you're not pregnant/breast-feeding, well, you need to do what is best for your mental health. Deal with that first, come back to the writing later if that's what it means.

[annis]

Your writing is always clear, cohesive and interesting, Chatterbox, so clearly your combination is working well :)

On a slightly different tack, I was recently in a car crash and took a good bang to the head. I'm doing the best I can, but every now and then my concentration and/or co-ordination gets a bit stuffed up. As I look perfectly allright, I'm getting a bit of impatience from people who don't understand about head injury trauma. What's not immediately visible, but in the head, seems to be hard for others to deal with.

[Nell_Gavin]

I once read that 80% of all writers suffer from depression. I didn't make that up, but I can't provide the source. Once I posted that as the title of a forum topic, and I couldn't believe how quickly and how many writers responded!

Before you try medication, PLEASE try vitamins. A few years ago researchers in Norway learned that some folks have "Vitamin B Deficiency Depression," and can't process vitamin B properly. It does something to the brain chemistry, resulting in depression. Google it, if you don't believe me. You can save yourself all kinds of grief by buying a bottle of B complex vitamins, and seeing if you feel better in a week or so. If you do, it isn't your imagination. You may have that condition (I do, and will need to take vitamins for the rest of my life), and save yourself the grief of finding the right medication dosage.

The kind of vitamins I would recommend for that condition, and also for stress, are Nature's Sunshine Nutri-calm. It's mostly vitamin b's with other relaxing things.

[Lady D]

I'm a bit late to this thread but I think it is a very important one and on a topic I have quite a bit of experience with.

I have suffered from depression (or so I thought) since my teens. In the past two years the diagnosis has changed to Bipolar II (the emphasis on depression rather than mania in the disorder). I have been on ADs for years, luckily without the serious side affects from them that many with BP have. Prozac did not suit me - it made me lack any form of feeling, but now I am on Escitalopram, without which I could not function. Combined with a course of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which I highly recommend, I am now able to remain balanced for 95% of the time (I still have my down days and high days, but they are nowhere near as severe as they used to be). For the first time in my life I can function normally for more than a few days!

As for my creativity, when I was down I had no creativity at all. If I wrote anything it was really dark poems about loss and death!!!:eek: On the other hand, when I was having a hypomanic episode, I was so full of energy that sitting to down to write, or read was impossible. Instead I preferred to go out and about socialising or shopping or starting impossible projects. Now I can actually sit down and write - and my creativity is all the better for the meds!

But everybody is different. What works for one may not for another, especially with depression. Also one med may do wonders for one person and do nothing or worse for someone else. It is important to have a close working relationship with your doctor, if possible, and if one med isn't working, try another, or a different dose until it is right. Also try things like counselling or CBT. Life's too short to live it in misery.

[TonyHays]

Probably the finest book I've encountered about writing and depression is William Styron's Darkness Visible, a true account of his own battle with depression. It's a quick read, but says a great deal.